…

I’ve never aspired for marriage or to be married. I didn’t think it was something to actively aspire to be, which some may consider a major failing.

I aspired to be a doctor.

I aspired to be happy at it.

And that’s it.

It was always a second thought, undecided and lying in the background. I assumed once I found my life’s purpose, once I started walking in the path that God designed for me everything else would fall into place. So finding someone took a backseat to finding a purpose.

But I’m starting to get looks, to realize that Nigerians won’t consider me successful, whole, accomplished or secure without a husband.

They continue to view the unmarried lot as unfortunate and lacking in some unknown fundamental quality to attract a mate and keep a home. Suddenly the entirety of my existence is determined by that singular quality.

As a woman in some circles, a ring earns audience. The little flash of gold band and suddenly everything that spills out of your mouth is pure wisdom.

I don’t understand it

Is it a shared camaraderie in the ability to suffer another’s existence for your eternity. Oh she’s married, she knows what I’m going through, so yeah I’ll listen to her.

While the unmarried ones are pitied the ones with the nerve to leave the institution are ostracized.

But that’s okay..

I’m starting a bit late with trying to conform to cultural expectations.

I will aspire to marriage.